Bodhisattva ethical restraints: Auxiliary vow 11

• Suggestions on how to improve mental clarity, memory, concentration, and self-confidence.
• Auxiliary vows 8-16 are to eliminate obstacles to the far-reaching practice of ethical discipline. Abandon:

  • 11. Not doing non-virtuous actions of body and speech with loving-compassion when circumstances deem it necessary in order to benefit others.

*Note: The sound quality improves after the first couple of minutes.

I am the servant of others

I remember one time in India when Lama Yeshe was teaching us, he was holding his mala and saying, “Your new mantra should be, ‘I am the servant of others. I am the servant of others. I am the servant of others.’” We should say that mantra, and more important than saying it, we should try and live that mantra. But in order to do that we must get over the other mantra that’s going on in our head, which is, “It’s all about me, it’s all about me, it’s all about me…” that we are constantly repeating and that’s the perspective we have on life. I think we must sit down and really think, “Which way is it?” Is it, “It’s all about me?” or is it, “I’m the servant of others?” Which one makes more sense? Which one is more realistic? Which one is more beneficial? 

We have to examine this, not just one time, but many times. If you think it’s all about you, not a problem, just keep on the way you are. If you think that you want to train your mind to be the servant of others, then consider what you need to do to counteract the mind that says, “It’s all about me.” 

You need to think about what the antidotes to “it’s all about me” are. We’ve had many teachings on them, so now you need to think about what those points were, how to apply them, and how to do it with a happy mind. A mind that feels free when you’re no one’s Valentine. And a mind that feels free when it’s not all about you. So, with that kind of attitude, we’ll listen to teachings on the bodhisattva vows.

Dealing with mental fogginess

I received a note from somebody and will now outline the points. Then we’re going to play a game. This person said that they can’t think clearly with steadiness. They want to be able to say something to the group during the sessions, but when it’s their turn, they can’t remember the point they want to say. They would like to know how to develop concentration, how to feel more connected with other people, and also how to improve their self-confidence. I’m wondering who wrote this note, so I thought I’d just ask you. We can do a show of hands, and maybe I will figure it out. 

Who of you can’t think clearly with steadiness? (Raises hand in each question). Okay, look around. How about when you’re in the group, and it’s your turn to speak, who can’t remember what you want to say? Who needs to develop more concentration?  Who doesn’t feel as connected to other people as you would like to feel? Who needs or wants to improve their self-confidence? This is no help at all. I still don’t know who wrote this note because you all raised your hands. Well, let’s see if we can solve this problem together, okay? 

If you can’t think clearly, what’s the antidote? No hands raised. Now, I see why you can’t think clearly. 

Audience: [Inaudible]

Venerable Thubten Chodron (VTC): Somebody said purify. Why purify? I mean purify how?

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Okay, doing purification practices really clears away the fogginess for you, and you can see a difference. If you do the practices for a while, not just a few times, but for a while, then you can see the difference. 

And you were saying that it depends?

Audience: Like if it’s in a session, for example, if I’m foggy-minded, and if I have the clarity of mind to remember, I make the visualization sharp and clear, and breathing in the light helps clear the mind.

VTC: You’re saying if the fogginess comes in a session, then to try and make your visualization very clear and do the visualization of breathing out the obscurity and breathing in the light, and then try to make your visualization really bright.

What else?

Audience: I know that when I’m thinking “all about me,” it mentally drains me, and I can’t think about anything else. So, when it comes to doing my practice and wanting to generate bodhicitta and visualize Vajradhara, my mind is exhausted because every moment is thinking about what I need and what’s going on. I’m either in the past thinking of stuff, I’m thinking in the future of what’s for lunch or what’s the weather going to look like, and how comfortable I am. All this self-obsession is exhausting, and so the clarity isn’t there.

VTC: You’re saying that the clarity of mind decreases because you’re using your mental energy going to the past, going to the future, just being filled with…

Audience: Eight worldly concerns.

VTC: Chit-chat of the eight worldly concerns, so that when it comes time to do your practice, your mind’s already tired. 

Audience: Sometimes I find that I’m too tight on what I’m thinking about, so if I just drop it, let my mind relax, then I can step back and see what it is I’m trying to think about. 

VTC: So when your mind gets too focused on “I’ve got to figure this out, I have got to figure this out,” that tightness actually makes your mind more obscured. You find it’s very helpful to just step back and say to yourself, “I don’t need to figure this out right now,” and just keep it in your mind but let the answers, the insights, come slowly.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Looking at the stars, looking at the long distance. Right.

Audience: Manjushri mantra helps a lot.

VTC: Yes! Manjushri mantra. In the monasteries in Asia, when people first get up in the morning, when they’re running around, going to brush their teeth, everybody’s saying, “Om ah ra pa tsa na dhih.” You should do this wherever you are. And if other people hear you, that’s good, it will remind them to do it, too. Do some Manjushri mantra.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: You’re saying that getting frustrated because you can’t think as clearly as you would like makes more obscuration, and you spiral downward. Alternatively, you can choose to have some compassion for yourself and some self-acceptance, know that the foggy mindedness will pass and that if you do the various practices we’ve been talking about you can develop more mental clarity.

How about the second one – when you are in the group and want to say something, it’s your turn, and you can’t remember what to say, you can’t remember what your point was.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Finding the words in English and the language thing can be very hard. But if you relax and realize that people do understand what you’re saying, even if you don’t know exactly the right word, and if they don’t understand it, they’ll ask you because they really do want to understand. 

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Yes, so you just ask for help.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: You’re saying that part of it depends on your motivation. If you remember that you really want to say something for the group, then you relax, and it comes easier, rather than if you’re thinking, “Oh, this is a meeting, I want to say something really important that impresses everybody.”

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: That’s quite nice, that you thought beforehand about what you wanted to say at the meeting, wrote down some notes, then just relaxed about the whole thing and found that it came out.

Tips for developing concentration

Audience: Make the mind joyful.

VTC: Make the mind joyful. How do you do that? 

Audience: I try to gladden the mind. First, if I’m not enjoying life, just try to get to neutral, do breathing meditation or something, try to get to neutral. Then get back and sort out what’s in the way. Then get myself interested in what I’m doing, make the mind glad so that it wants to do it.

VTC: So, if you sit down and see that you are in a bad mood, then do some breathing meditation to get yourself to neutral. And then do something that gladdens the mind, like what? 

Audience: I just say “gladden.” I just say that to myself, “I’m glad,” and then it will stick.

VTC: You just say, “Make the mind glad,” and that helps.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: When your mind’s not happy, which distracts you from your meditation, you think of puppies or kitties or something really adorable, and that makes you smile, it makes you happy.

Audience: The more I go back to thinking about the reasons for having concentration, the disadvantages of having a distracted mind, the more easily my mind naturally focuses.

VTC: Okay, for you it works to think about the benefits of having concentration. Because then that makes the mind want to do it.

Audience: I try and remember some of the teachings I’ve heard on cultivating attention and try to put those into practice.

VTC: Remembering the teachings. Thank you! I was wondering if anybody was going to think about that. Remember the teachings you’ve heard on how to cultivate concentration.

Audience: And schedule it into every session.

VTC: Yes, remember a little part of it, reflect on it each session.

Audience: [Inaudible]

Tips for feeling more connected to others

VTC: What about if you don’t feel as connected to other people as you would like to feel?

Audience: Meditate on their kindness.

VTC: Meditate on their kindness.

Audience: And meditate on their good qualities.

VTC: And meditate on your own good qualities.

Audience: That one too, right.

VTC: What else?

Audience: Smile.

VTC: Just smiling helps you. Yes, that works for me, too.

Audience: The four immeasurables?

VTC: Yes, contemplating the four immeasurables. 

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Yes, don’t believe everything you think.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: So, all these thoughts of, “I’m not connected, I’m all alone; they’re all a group, I’m the one who is left out, I don’t know how I fit in.” All those kinds of thoughts just don’t believe them, and realize they’re just thoughts, they’re not the truth.

Audience: Connecting with holy beings in visualizations really helps me to then practice.

VTC: Doing visualizations and connecting with holy beings helps you to open your heart also to the people around you.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Not taking things so personally, and maybe not reading into small things that aren’t there.

Audience: And keep it simple. It doesn’t have to be a profound meeting of great minds. It just needs to be a simple exchange of connecting with another human or sentient being.

VTC: Yes, don’t think that to connect to somebody it has to be this dramatic something. Sometimes just a small thing, doing a small thing for somebody or just a smile can bring a real feeling of connection. 

Audience: Focus on both my own and the other person’s feelings and needs. 

VTC: Focus on your own and the other’s feelings and needs. That’s a good way to get connected to people.

Audience: Reciting the refuge and bodhicitta prayer repeatedly. Also remembering that we always want happiness.

VTC: Reciting the refuge and bodhicitta prayer again and again and thinking about it. And remembering that we all want happiness and don’t want to suffer, and we’re exactly alike in that way.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Remembering that you are with kind people, that you’re not in a hostile environment. You are with people who are kind, so that if you open the door a little bit, a lot’s going to come in.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: That nobody wants to hurt you, and nobody’s pushing you away. 

Tips for improving one’s self-confidence

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Look at the self-talk that’s going on in your mind, and if you’re sitting there putting yourself down, criticizing yourself, telling yourself you’re no good, then push the stop button on that.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Self-acceptance and giving yourself credit for what you’ve done. Seeing your good qualities and seeing the changes that you’ve made. Instead of the glass is half empty all the time, the glass is half full. Instead of, “But there’s this one spot on the wall,” see that the whole rest of the wall is beautiful.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Bringing to mind our good qualities, remembering we have the buddha potential.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Recognizing your precious human life, but also the specific situation; an opportunity we have now that came from causes that we ourselves created, which means we’ve done a lot, we’ve created a lot of virtue, and we should feel some confidence because of that.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Dedicating.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Instead of comparing yourself to others, rejoice in others’ good qualities and rejoice in your own, too. But stop the whole comparison trip.

Whoever it was who wrote this note, I think there’s a lot of the wisdom in this room, and you have all answered the questions. And it’s on the tape now, too.

Being patient with ourselves

VTC: How many of you are satisfied with the progress you’re making? And how many of you wish that you would make more progress quicker?

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: You’re frustrated because you think you should be progressing faster.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: It’s like, “I’ve been doing this, I’ve said 50,000 already, and there should be some change. I’ve sat here on this cushion for two and a half months already, what’s the story? I’ve been studying lamrim for however long it is, how come I’m not getting it more?” How many of you get into that state of, “I wish it were all going faster. It should go faster.” 

Audience: By now!

VTC: By now, yes! Of course, by now. “Forget that I’ve had these imprints in my mind since beginningless time. Forget the fact that I’ve cultivated these bad habits for infinite lifetimes. I’ve been meditating now for a few months or a few years, at least I should have realized the path of accumulation by now. They say enlightenment in one lifetime, that’s the advertisement, and I want it.” 

How many of you get frustrated sometimes? It’s like, “I just wish things were going better already.”

I’m giving a talk in Portland that’s called, “I want to be enlightened by Tuesday.” And the subtitle is, “Learning patience on the path.” I think we all get into that mental state of, “I’ve been doing this already, why aren’t I getting the results? I believe in cause and effect, so I’ve been doing it, where are the results?  I did the meditation on patience three whole times. Why am I still angry? And I’ve studied the whole thing about how to develop concentration, so why can’t concentrate?”  

This is our Western consumer mind. The Western mind that wants everything to happen quickly. We don’t want to wait. We’re good consumers. When there’s a product, we want it and we want it now. And whoever it is should be able to provide it for us. Because we’re entitled to it, and we’ve made our effort to get it. We have this mind that is very impatient. Even just now, we went over some antidotes, so people might go back and practice one, five, ten times even, and then say, “But it doesn’t work.” Do you think meditating on something five or ten times is going to change habits from beginningless time?   

I wasn’t at this particular teaching, but I heard about it many times – in Los Angeles, it was Q&A time, and the question to His Holiness was, “What’s the quickest way to get enlightened?” His Holiness heard the question, and he started to cry. Then he said that people are just looking for the quickest way, that we’ve got to cultivate endurance, we’ve got to practice for a long time. He told the story of Milarepa. And Rechungpa. When Rechungpa was leaving, he asked Jetsun Mila, “What’s your last instruction for me so that I can get enlightened quickly?” And Jetsun Mila lifted his cloth and showed the callouses on his rear. That’s all he did. 

The message is, “You’ve got to practice.” How do you get callouses on your rear? Because you practice, because you sit a lot. Don’t expect everything to just fly and get fast-zooming results. Really put in the time and energy, create the cause. Be happy that you have the opportunity that you must create the cause. If you create the cause, the result is going to come. But if we’re always thinking, “Why am I not better, why can’t I do this? How come this, how come that? I should be able to already.” If we always look at things that way, we’re going to be forever frustrated, and that mind itself is going to become an obstacle. On the other hand, if at the end of the day we just say, “I spent one more day purifying, creating merit, and learning. I can pat myself on the back and say, ‘That’s good,’ and I dedicate it.” Then you feel very happy at the end of the day. And then that happiness builds, that satisfaction builds, because you’re just focused on doing what you need to do right now. You’re not thinking, “When’s it all going to happen?” This is quite important.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: You’re saying that even if it’s a Dharma motivation, you want it now because it’s the happiness of this life. And that thing of, “I want to feel something now, I want to be happy now. It used to be from drinking, drugging, sex, and rock and roll. I went off those, and now it’s Dharma, but I’m still looking for the immediate gratification.” You’re finding that the mind that is habituated to thinking in that way causes you a lot of frustration and misery.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: And discouragement, yes. That mind of wanting quick results that are going to make me feel better, make me feel successful, make me know that what I’m doing is useful. It’s me, me, me, me, me, isn’t it? Yo, yo, yo.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: You’re saying that there was a group meditation with Yangsi Rinpoche. He came in and sat down, you meditated for half an hour, and at the end he said very lovingly, “You Westerners are so hard on yourself.” Nothing had been said, but just the whole feeling in the room was, “I’m here, and I’m here for a purpose. I’ve got to attain, I’ve got to achieve, and something’s got to happen. I’m following the instructions – one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight…” just a driven quality.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: It’s in the air, in silent meditation when we’re supposed to be peaceful. But we don’t know how to just be. We talk about the four immeasurables, but do you know how to be and radiate love? No. “I’ve got to do this, and I‘ve got to do this, and I’ve got to go here, and I’ve got to do the other thing.” 

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: You’re saying on one hand we want to use the time well; on the other hand, we don’t want to be hard with ourselves. It’s very interesting that the way we think is if we use the time well, and if we’re focused, the only way to do that is to be hard on ourselves. That is our assumption, isn’t it? The only way to use my time well is to be driven, to be hard on myself, to criticize myself if I get distracted. That’s the underlying assumption in our culture, isn’t it? 

Audience: It’s not good use of time.

VTC: It’s not good use of time? Why isn’t driving ourselves a good use of time? 

Audience: I just get more tight, unhappy, and frustrated. The results show me it’s not a good use of time.

VTC: What shows you it’s not a good use of time are the results you get from pushing yourself, which is you’re more frustrated, you’re more unhappy, you’re less inclined to do anything, and you’re tired. It’s interesting how what we think we need to do is something that doesn’t get us where we want to go. It produces the opposite effect. 

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: That’s the point – you can be very happy when you’re listening and not distracted, but our assumption is that to get ourselves to listen and not be distracted, we must push ourselves. We must drive ourselves. What you’re saying is right – you can pay attention, use your time well, and be happy at the same time. That assumption we have to push and make it happen, telling ourselves “Don’t waste our time,” that is not true. 

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: You’re saying we approach ourselves like, “Oh, I’m distracted! Why does this happen? Get back on the object already! Come on stupid, ridiculous mind!” Or we can approach ourselves like, “Oh, I got distracted again. Do I really want to spend the hour this way? No. Okay, let’s bring it back.” So, there are these two different ways to talk to ourselves.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: In silent retreat you’re talking to yourself a lot, you get to hear it. We often have a lot of false assumptions that we’ve never questioned. A big one people have is that the only way to intercede when one person is being unfair to the other is to be angry. We assume that there’s no other possible motivation. Similar here is “There’s no other way to get myself to focus but to scold myself.” We really need to notice those assumptions and question them. 

I had a friend who told me that she had a hard time getting to the cushion to meditate. Most people, when they can’t get to the cushion, there’s so much internal civil war and guilt. It’s like one side says, “I should go meditate, I want to go meditate, but I just don’t feel like it right now.” And the other side says, “Oh, you should, it’s good for you, come on, go and meditate.” And this whole way of guilt-tripping, “Oh, I’m such a crummy student, I can’t get to the cushion, I didn’t do it yesterday, I’m not doing it today, so I’m just giving up. Because if I ask for help, then they’ll know that I haven’t been doing it, and I don’t want other people to know,” and being so hard on ourselves. My friend told me she talks to her mind as if it’s a little kid. She says, “I know Susie, you don’t want to go meditate, but we’re going to go do that now.” The same way that you deal with a little kid, “I know you don’t want to eat your string beans, but we’re going to eat our string beans now.” And you just take Susie’s hand, bring her to the cushion, and sit her down.

Any of these instructions and any of the things we learn, we must do them again and again and again and again and again. It’s not a thing of getting an instruction, doing it for two or three weeks, then the result should come, and whatever was bothering you is instantly gone. We must really practice and transform the mind. 

11. When you have compassion, there is no non-virtue.

We’re on number 11. Here it says, “When you have compassion, there is no non virtue [in the first seven non virtues].” Or here it says, “Not doing non-virtuous actions of body and speech with loving-compassion when circumstances deem it necessary in order to benefit others.”

The eleventh secondary misdeed is interpreted in two different ways in the great commentaries. According to one, when bodhisattvas, moved by great compassion, kill someone or accomplish any of the seven physical or verbal non-virtues in someone’s best interests, there is no fault. The commentaries that give this explanation count therefore forty-five not forty-six secondary misdeeds.

One interpretation is if you’re a bodhisattva with loving concern, if you do one of the seven non-virtues of body and speech, there’s no non-virtue in it because you’re doing it with a bodhisattva motivation. And if that’s the case, then they count it as only forty-five, not forty-six secondary misdeeds. 

The second interpretation, found in works such as Bodhibadra’s commentary, is that in the appropriate circumstances if bodhisattvas do not kill and so forth, they commit a secondary misdeed. Thus the fault lies in not committing a harmful action that is necessary for the welfare of others.”

The story that’s always told is from one of the Buddha’s previous lives when he was a merchant on a ship, and there were 500 other merchants going out looking for their wish-fulfilling jewel, or whatever it was. One of them planned to kill the 499 others and take all their jewels for himself. The Buddha, as the captain of the ship, saw this, and with compassion for the 499 that were going to get killed, as well as compassion for the one would-be murderer, took it upon himself to kill the would-be murderer so that he wouldn’t create that negative karma, and also so that the other people wouldn’t die. That’s the story that’s often told to illustrate this.

So, according to the second interpretation, if you were in a situation like that, then not killing someone would be a break, a transgression of the secondary vow. Or if there’s some other situation in which stealing something or lying or doing something would be of the greatest benefit to others and you don’t do it, then it would be this break. That’s what it sounds like. And of course, we don’t use this to justify our killing, stealing, lying, and everything, saying it’s all for the benefit of sentient beings. 

Let’s go on with the explanation here.

The misdeed concerns seven of the ten negative deeds: the three major physical non-virtues – killing, stealing, and sexual misconduct – and the four major verbal non-virtues – lying, divisive speech, cruel speech, and idle talk. Once we have developed very powerful compassion and spontaneous bodhicitta—

“Once we have developed very powerful compassion and spontaneous bodhicitta”—did you hear that part?

—Once we have developed very powerful compassion and spontaneous bodhicitta, [on the path of accumulation], when to benefit another being we perform one of the seven non-virtues, it does not constitute a misdeed. This does not concern most of us, but it is important nevertheless to understand it. 

‘The Great Way’ elaborates greatly on the topic and in particular on the circumstances in which bodhisattvas are allowed to perform these deeds without creating negative karma. When can bodhisattvas do things that are usually considered negative, such as stealing? The general principle behind bodhisattva practice is that the welfare of others overrides our own personal concern. The rule in the pursuit of Buddhahood is always to consider first and foremost what would be most beneficial to others, not ourselves.

In fact, only highly developed beings can perform harmful deeds without doing anything wrong.

In every situation they are sufficiently wise to determine when actions that are otherwise considered negative serve the cause of others. Moreover, their motives are entirely pure for they have overcome egoism and self-interest.

So, what are the qualities of somebody who is able to do this? First, they are very wise, so they can look at situations and clearly determine that doing this would be wiser in the long term for more sentient beings than doing the other thing. They’re really very wise and can assess situations very well. Second, they have no self-interest or egoism in their own motivation. It’s strictly for the benefit of others. You must have that ability to do this, and I’m really stressing this, because you might hear some say, “Well, I did this and such for the benefit of sentient beings, and blah blah, but also it was convenient to do the thing I wanted to do.” 

At what level of spiritual development are bodhisattvas permitted to commit the first seven non-virtues for others’ sake? ‘The Great Way’ explains that to be allowed to kill, for example, bodhisattvas must have strengthened their mind to the point that they dare to effectively exchange self and others, or in other words, to actually take on their suffering.

They’re willing and at the point where if they’re going to kill somebody, they can experience the feeling of being killed themselves, and they’re willing to take on that feeling. 

According to my precious master, Geshe Ngawang Nyima Rinpoche, from this one can logically deduce that the permission to commit the seven non-virtues concerns bodhisattvas from the path of preparation up to but not including the first bodhisattva level.

The first bodhisattva level is path of seeing, so basically somebody who is any of the four levels of the path of preparation.

Why is that? First, because according to ‘The Ornament for Clear Realization,’ it is only once bodhisattvas have collected eons worth of merit on the path of accumulation, by practicing the six far-reaching practices, and have thereby reached the path of preparation, that they have mastered the actual exchange of self and others.

To be able to do this, you must be able to exchange self and others, which means you’re willing to experience what you’re doing to somebody else, and only on the path of preparation can one actually do that. 

Audience: Does this mean taking their karma?

VTC: We’re going to get into that.

At the other end of the scale, once bodhisattvas have reached the first of the ten bodhisattva levels, or [bodhisattva] bhumis, it is no longer relevant to give them permission to perform these deeds, for all of their actions are by nature virtuous.

Although I think there’s some discussion about that.

There is much discussion on this issue, and it is important to give it a great deal of thought. Killing a living being is a serious act for anyone, even bodhisattvas. ‘The Great Way’ adds that those who intend to carry out such grave deeds must not only be true bodhisattvas—[you’ve really got to be a bodhisattva]—having realized spontaneous bodhicitta, they must also have trained in the six far-reaching practices at length and be motivated by very intense compassion at the time of the action. 

It’s not a ‘Mickey Mouse’ bodhisattva. It’s somebody who has bodhicitta, is trained in the six far-reaching practices, and can carry out the action with compassion.

Furthermore, there must be no alternative solution to helping the being—[this is important]—and the deed must not harm the bodhisattvas. On the contrary, it must increase their merit.

So, there must be no other way to handle the situation, and it must be something that’s not harmful to the bodhisattva themselves. 

Often when you teach ethics, people dream up these incredible situations. Like, “What would you do if somebody came in the house, held a gun up, and they were going kill your whole family? Are you telling me the Buddha says not to kill?” People think of these very black and white situations. Do black and white situations really happen? I don’t think so. Things are very nuanced, and you must think creatively. In what other ways can we deal with the situation? You can see our government doesn’t have a creative way of thinking of how to deal with situations. You must be creative, not black and white. 

There is also some debate as to whether this instruction applies to both ordained and non-ordained bodhisattvas, and the answer is that it concerns only lay bodhisattvas.

That’s interesting.

What should ordained bodhisattvas do when they are faced with a situation where performing one of the seven deeds would greatly benefit someone?

You’re a monastic, you’re a bodhisattva, and it would greatly benefit someone if you killed somebody else, then what do you do? Because if you kill somebody else, it’s a parajika.

Since carrying it out would mean breaking their monastic vows and losing their ordination—[which is very heavy negative karma]—the only solution is for them to return their monastic vows temporarily and proceed to accomplish the deed.

They would give back their precepts, then do the deed. 

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: That’s the thing, only monks can do it. The nuns can only ordain one time, the men can ordain up to seven times, although there’s some discussion about that. But that’s the way most traditions hold it.

Another point of controversy is whether performing these deeds creates negative karma.

This is what you were asking. Before reading what he says, I’ll tell you that I’ve heard two different accounts. One of my teachers says that when a bodhisattva does that, they don’t create any negative karma, but they are creating positive karma because they’re doing the deed out of compassion. But I remember Rinpoche said that to be able to do that, you must be able to say, “I am willing to create the negative karma of killing. I am willing to bear the result of creating that negative karma.” Your compassion is so strong, and your exchange of self and others is so strong, that for the benefit of somebody else you’re willing to bear the result of creating that karma.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Actually, he said when you have that motivation, you create negative karma, but by the power of your compassion, the result lasts just a split second.

Audience: But you’re willing.

VTC: But you’re willing. So that really gets rid of the way we do it, how we rationalize. You must really be willing to go to the hell realms to be able to do this. 

For the time being, however, what is most important for us to bear in mind is that a negative deed such as killing can only be performed with impunity by true bodhisattvas who have trained in the six far-reaching practices over a long period of time. Moreover, they must be entirely free of the slightest selfish motives and be motivated to act by pure compassion. If it is certain that the deed will create only good karma and not leave any negative traces on their mind, then the bodhisattvas are allowed to act. If they are ordained, however, before committing the action they must return their monastic vows. It is important to understand this point, for some people imagine that bodhisattvas are allowed anything and have no rules to live by. Others assume that in Mahayana Buddhism we may do anything as long as our motives are pure. Hopefully it is now clear that this is far from true.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: You are saying that when they talked about this in Taiwan, the idea of defending the monastery because you’re doing something for so many ordained people was within the responsibility of a bodhisattva. But there are different ways to defend the monastery, aren’t there? There are many ways to defend the monastery. It doesn’t mean that you must pick up a rifle. Although when the communist revolution was going on, some monasteries did that. But you really must think carefully about that.

You would need the feeling of, “I’m willing to go to the hell realm in order to preserve the monastery and the Buddhadharma.” You can see that if you simply said, “Oh, it’s for the Dharma, so I’m doing it with compassion to preserve the Dharma,” then you could get into a very us-versus-them mind. “We’re the morally superior ones, and they’re the trash that’s trying to destroy the Dharma. They’re morally inferior, so therefore it’s proper to kill them.” You don’t want to get into that kind of attitude, that’s dangerous. That’s very dangerous. How old was the master who said that?

Audience: In his 70’s.

VTC: In his 70’s, because some of the Taiwanese monks in the 40’s gave back their ordination and fought in the army. After the war was over, they ordained again. But you see, they gave back their vows and did that. Still, I can’t imagine training so long in keeping the precepts, and then going to join the army. But of course, we’ve never lived in a country where there’s active war. I think it would be extremely difficult to imagine living in a country where there’s actual war going on.

What constitutes an apology?

Audience: Can I ask a question about one of the precepts? It’s the one about apologizing that I’ve been thinking about. It’s quite clear from the book that in refusing the apology, you must say something verbally. You must actually say something to the other person, like, “I don’t accept it.” But what I don’t understand is what must be done on the side of the person apologizing. Because oftentimes we have verbal exchanges with other people where we don’t say “I’m sorry” or we don’t really fulfill all of the criteria that they talk about in there, but we are making amends. Do you know what I mean? That’s where it got kind of gray for me, what…

VTC: What constitutes an apology? First, I don’t think you necessarily must say something to refuse it. I think it’s one of those precepts where it’s either this or that. In terms of what constitutes an apology, sometimes people don’t come and say, “I apologize,” or, “I’m sorry for…” You can tell by the way they’re saying something that what they’re trying to do is say that they’re sorry. They don’t want to lose face and lose pride by saying they’re sorry, but they’re wanting to make up. Does that constitute an apology?

Audience: What I think is more common is that people, at least in my experience, it seems like they’re trying to clarify something and explain themselves better. I often take that as a sign on their part that they’re trying to make amends. But as I thought about this, I thought a lot of times they’re just trying to explain themselves, and it has nothing to do with an apology.

VTC: Sometimes there was some friction, something was said, so they come to you and try to explain themselves. Does that constitute an apology? I think we must look at how they’re explaining themselves. Because sometimes people are explaining themselves, and they’re not just saying, “This is how I’m looking at it,” they’re saying, “I’m explaining myself so that you understand that what you said is wrong.” I know that for myself, very often when I’m explaining myself it’s my way of saying, “You’re wrong.”

Also, there’s a difference in the way I do it. If I’m sincere, if I’m just trying to convey some information, it’s very different than when I’m trying to explain myself and infer that the other person is at fault. And the way I can tell the difference is a certain tone of voice. And if there’s a certain urgency to explain myself, I can’t wait to do it, then I’m transferring blame. And I repeat myself – I say it, and then I say it again – because inside I’m thinking, “I want them to know that I am innocent, and they’re wrong for thinking that about me.” 

We can often tell when other people are making excuses. But there are other times when they are sincerely clarifying what they want, and you can tell it’s because they don’t want there to be friction. They may not be particularly apologizing, because they may not feel like they did something with an intention to harm. But they are trying to clarify, because they care about the relationship and don’t want there to be hard feelings, which is different than when I care about my own reputation. 

Audience: The first one there feels like an apology to me.

VTC: If you feel like somebody is saying it because they want you to understand and they want to have a good relationship, then the best to thing to do is to respond, “Yes, I also want to have a good relationship.”

Audience: I still feel a dilemma. It seems like you can still have anger in your mind, or you haven’t processed out all your anger, even though you say to the person, “I want to have a good relationship.” You can still not have everything worked out.

VTC: Yes, that may happen. The person may come to you and may want to do it – they may not say explicitly, “I’m sorry,” or they may explicitly say, “I’m sorry,” – but we may still have some anger and have not worked out our anger. That’s what this precept is getting at. There’s another precept coming up, because there are two different circumstances about not accepting apologies. The other one is nineteen, “Refusing to accept the apologies of others.” That one isn’t quite as severe. And the motivations are different. Number 19 says:

When we reject the apology out of animosity or ill-will the misdeed is associated with afflictions. When we harbor no manifest feelings of animosity or ill-will, but for lack of patience still do not want to accept their apology, it’s a misdeed disassociated from afflictions. This might occur if they choose a bad moment to explain themselves, when we are particularly busy for example, and it is for that reason that we refuse to listen and not because we want to hurt them.  

The other one is number three. This one is also with anger. Let’s look at it because I remember there being a difference in the motivation. Number three says:

Here the motivation is resentment and the fact of holding a grudge.

So, we’re really clinging strongly, we resent it, we’re holding a grudge, we want to retaliate. The other one is not accepting and we’re angry, or the person is saying it at a bad time so that we cannot really think about what they’re saying but we harbor no manifest feelings. That might be the kind of situation you’re talking about. Maybe the person says, “I’m sorry,” and you’re first reaction is, “Yes, I want to make peace, too,” but then when you check your mind, it’s like, “Nah, I’m still mad.” 

It’s really a call for us to get over our anger as soon as possible and not dwell on things, because when we get angry, if we don’t work on our anger and we wait until somebody apologizes to us, then it’s going to be very easy to transgress either three or the secondary number nineteen, because we haven’t worked on our own mind to try and release our anger. So, when we notice that we’re angry toward somebody, we should really do whatever we can to work on it right then without waiting for the other person to apologize.

Audience: My experience is if I still have anger, I don’t believe what they’re saying when they’re saying it. If I think about it later, I’m like, “Well, maybe I should have believed them,” but in the moment I know I’m not believing them.

VTC: Right. And I think that’s very good to see that when you’re angry, even if they’re genuinely apologizing, you don’t believe it. That’s a problem, isn’t it? Somebody is sincerely apologizing, but because of our anger we don’t believe it.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: It is helpful if the other person apologizes, and we may still have work to do.

Audience: So, I don’t have to be complete in my process for some healing to happen.

VTC: In other words, there are degrees of healing. You may not be ready to totally let go of your anger and your hurt, but you can at least heal somewhat and extend some feeling of peace toward the other person. That’s good, because you’re getting somewhere, aren’t you?

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: I know very well what you’re talking about. I call it ‘free-floating anger’ – you wake up, you’re in a bad mood, and you get mad at the first person who says good morning. You’re just looking for somebody to get mad at because the mind is completely out of sorts. You’ve got to catch that mind and beware of that mind, “Oh, I’m in a bad mood, I need to be very, very careful today. And let’s see if I can switch, release this bad mood.” 

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Sometimes it’s very helpful to tell the people you live with or work with, “I’m not in a good mood today, so if I say something, please don’t take it personally.” It helps them, but I that find sometimes just saying that helps you to get over the bad mood. Just being able to say, “I’m in a bad mood, so please don’t take it personally,” helps me get over the bad mood.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Our mind is sometimes like a little screaming kid, isn’t it? 

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Even if somebody says, “I love you,” we think, “I don’t want to hear that.” Then you must do what she said—put your inner child in daycare.

Audience: [Inaudible]

VTC: Okay, let’s dedicate.