Transforming aging and illness into the path
Bob Wilson 
On Taking Illness Onto the Path 
Dec 20, 2018 
The following is excerpted from a letter Bob sent to the Abbey.
It has been a year since my knee surgery, and my knee is now just like a normal knee. What has proved even more challenging is my experience and diagnosis with Parkinson’s. It has allowed me to practice deep acceptance, presence, mindfulness, and slowing down!
I asked myself: How will I use this ripening of karma in my life to nurture deeper wisdom and bring this disease into my spiritual practice? I contemplated my life situation and what life has taught me so far and set my intention for my new journey:
If it’s better for me to be ill,
I pray for the blessing of illness.
If it is better for me to recover,
I pray for the blessing of recovery.
If it’s better for me to die,
I pray for the blessing of death.–A mind-training tradition prayer
I vow to bloom where I am planted and to let go of my own suffering.
I wanted to manage my “earth suit” (body) and at the same time not create a solid self. I started to look within and ask myself: Who is sick? Am “I” my illness? Can I maintain my awareness and presence as I notice what arises in my body, mind, and emotions? Can I let go of rejection, impatience, and fear? If I do, what happens to my mind and emotions?
I chose to set my motivation: May whatever symptoms that arise in my earth suit be a teaching for me. May I use them to deepen my compassion and wisdom and may be a blessing to all beings in every realm. I remind myself that I am a caretaker of the earth suit that my consciousness is associated with in this life. The body is not who I am in totality.
With deep appreciation for our wonderful Abbey community….which brings peace to a chaotic world!
Bob Wilson
Growing up, Bobbie Sweetheart (aka Bob Wilson) weighed 400 pounds and was frequently mocked by his peers. Although he lost 240 pounds by the age of 21, he fell into the use of alcohol and drugs and experienced deep self-hatred. He sought many spiritual paths to help him understand and heal what was going on in his life. He met Venerable Chodron in 1987, becoming her student in 1994. The Dharma saved his life. Subsequently, when he noticed himself heading toward self-loathing and shame, he would hug himself and think of calming words a loving mother might offer to her troubled child: “It’s okay, Bobbie Sweetheart. I love you so much. Everything is going to be alright.” According to Bob, the Lam Rim teachings inspired him to be of service to others. Consequently, he became a health educator and lifestyle coach, and self-published Lighter and Free from the Inside Out. Visit his holistic wellness websites that use mindfulness, meditation, and Buddhist principles to help people plant seeds of well-being in their own lives here and here. Eight years ago, he discovered he had Parkinson’s Disease. Read his story about the compassionate and holistic management of Parkinson’s Disease here.
