The allure of drugs

Shiney Medication Capsules
Photo by pxhere

As a teenager I looked down on drug addicts. I couldn’t understand how a person could be so weak. Why couldn’t they just stop? They know it’s bad for them. I was much of a loner as a young adult, until I met a couple named Scott and April, who invited me to a party. Everyone was having such a great time. Endless laughter, lots of affections, carefree attitude. Everyone was so nice. I went from having no friends, to having a whole family of new friends. Everyone was so inviting, girls dancing, hugging, and coming home for the night. Wow! I felt like I was finally living life!

My parents were happy for me. After a few weeks I decided to invite the crowd to my place. I didn’t live a lavish life but, for a bachelor’s pad it was a perfect place for a house party. There was lots of drinking and smoking weed. Nothing more. I had never smoked weed until the age of nineteen. Oh my God, was I missing out! This was the life. Having fun with friends. A little drinking and weed never hurt anyone.

When I turned 21 I decided to get my CDL (commercial driver’s license) which meant that I would be subject to regular drug tests by my employer. I had heard that weed can be detected in a urine sample for up to 30 days. But, cocaine can only be detected for up to 72 hours (3 days). I asked a co-worker about this and he agreed. Next thing you know, I graduated to doing cocaine. No more grass, I am messing with the real deal now!

The high was more intense and I didn’t have the slow effect that comes from grass. I didn’t feel stupid. I was more confident and aggressive. I felt real. I am tapping into my higher potential. No more shyness or doubting. This drug was nourishing my confidence.

After three years of doing cocaine I was no longer confident. I was embarrassed about myself. Because of my addiction I stole from work, pawned my possessions, lost my so-called friends, and lost my job, my car, and my dignity. I never saw it coming. What happened to the fun times? This drug had diseased my mind.

Now I find myself in prison, thanks in large part to my irrational decision-making while hyped up on drugs. Believe me, no one tries drugs with the intention to lose everything of value; including one’s self-control and freedom from incarceration.

Think of all the wonderful things people have done as a result of doing drugs. Now, think of all the destruction–the truth that drugs give birth to.

Being happy and confident doesn’t require a chemical. Having true friends doesn’t mean you need enough drinks for everyone. By loving yourself, sobriety is true bliss. Having to be high is like saying that you are not strong enough in sobriety. You have the will power within you to care about and nurture yourself. You can do it. And there are plenty of people who care enough to help you along the way.

Albert Ramos

Albert Gerome Ramos was born and raised in San Antonio, Texas. He has been incarcerated since 2005 and is currently enrolled in the North Carolina Field Minister Program. Upon graduation he plans to start programs that help incarcerated people with mental health issues, drug dependency, and those who struggle from childhood trauma. He is the author of the children's book Gavin Discovers the Secret to Happiness.

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