Grouchy me

By B. T.

A white sign on a window with the words: If you are grouchy, irritable or just plain mean, there will be a $10 charge for putting up with you.
It’s like you said, my mind was looking for something to be angry at. (Photo by MTSOfan)

You talked about some people being angry or grouchy at a certain time of day, for example in the morning. That’s me quite often! Recently I had a bout of anger early in the morning. I was awakened by the guard to be the first one to go to recreation. It was about 5:30 a.m. and I’m not a morning person to say the least. Well, I was still a little asleep, and another incarcerated person laughed at me because I had to go first. Nobody wants to go first. Everyone is trying to get a couple more hours of sleep in, so when he teased me, I snapped at him.

After a minute or two, I calmed down and apologized to him. Some of the other guys teased him about it for a few days because I usually am real friendly and he’d managed to get my goat. I felt bad about it, even more so because they were giving him a hard time about it. I’m glad that he is a good-natured guy and didn’t cuss me out. It could have turned into a bigger deal that it was—in the prison environment that happens a lot. Anyway, it was a little issue but it showed me how easy it is to fall back when I don’t guard my mind. It’s like you said, my mind was looking for something to be angry at.

Incarcerated people

Many incarcerated people from all over the United States correspond with Venerable Thubten Chodron and monastics from Sravasti Abbey. They offer great insights into how they are applying the Dharma and striving to be of benefit to themselves and others in even the most difficult of situations.

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