To reach potential

Woman with palms together and eyes closed.

I have this thing
Inside of me, I’m sure.
Solid, real, tangible.
An essence of awesomeness
That early on my
Parents knew to be.

This potential I
Must work hard to actualise –
For wouldn’t it be such a loss
If everyone wasn’t made quite aware
That the single-most precious
Object in the world was me.

Yet something’s never quite right
In this pursuit of
Self-absorbed attainment
Where me and mine come first
To the detriment of all.

So lonely this path of self-absorption.
Others always othered:
To beat, to compare, to challenge
– sometimes to love –
Friends, family, strangers
They cannot reach me
On this pedestal,
Whether my arms are open or not.

Yet fear drives me on
To achieve the A+ of life.
I must be something, someone
To be considered worthy
Of love and affection
To find my true place in this world.

Elusive thus remains the
Contentment that I seek.
No job, no role, no other living being
Can halt the ever-going
Search for more and better.

Due to this, with head
Bowed with humility,
I solemnly take safe direction
In objects worth of refuge:
The three that provide inspiration now
Regarding the three
I will eventually become.
Great potential, yes, is there for sure.
Having the Tathagata lineage
Inconceivable is the capacity
Of this mind of mine.
But given the job to find it
– This I or its potential –
Empty handed I will return.

Thus with the weapon of understanding
The illusion-like nature of appearances
I shall strike at the source
Of all misery and pain.
You, self-centered thought
– Thief! Madman! Ruiner of all joy! –
I will believe you no more.

With courage instead
I choose to cultivate
The bodhi mind deep and vast.
The aspiration to the greatest
Potential for all.

(Photo by Riza Nugraha.)

Venerable Thubten Lamsel

Ven. Thubten Lamsel began studying the Dharma in 2011 at The Dhargyey Buddhist Centre in Dunedin, New Zealand. When she began exploring the possibility of ordination in 2014, a friend referred her to the Preparing for Ordination booklet by Venerable Thubten Chodron. Soon after, Ven. Lamsel made contact with the Abbey, tuning in weekly for the livestreamed teachings and offering service from afar. In 2016 she visited for the month-long Winter Retreat. Feeling like she had found the supportive monastic environment she had been looking for, under the close guidance of her spiritual mentor, she requested to come back for training. Returning in January 2017, Ven. Lamsel took anagarika precepts on March 31st. In the most fantastic circumstances, she was able to take her sramaneri and shikshamana vows during the Living Vinaya in the West course on February 4, 2018. Ven. Lamsel previously worked as a university-based public health researcher and health promoter at a small non-governmental organization. At the Abbey she is part of the video recording/editing team, helps with inmate outreach, and enjoys making creations in the kitchen.

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