Dealing with difficult changes

I just wanted to write you to let you know that I have been receiving the papers for the “Retreat from Afar.” THANK YOU SO MUCH! I am really enjoying them.

I am going through a pretty big change right now and this has already helped me to deal with it. On January 5th, they moved everyone in our entire pod to the other side of the jail. From what I heard, this old building has some code violations. They’re putting on a new roof, a new a/c unit and they needed to update the vents due to fire hazard. We have been told we will be here anywhere from two weeks to three months. The biggest change is going from a two-person cell to a six-person cell. I have had the same roommate for three years so this is a BIG change. They are also letting us out as a group (14 women) for eight hours instead of the one hour out per cell per day. Lots of changes.

I feel a little socially handicapped and I am definitely out of my comfort zone. There is no privacy to make phone calls or to do my normal routine, so I feel out of my element. I think the hardest part is the drama between all these women. It’s a lot to deal with. It’s very intense and lots of negative energy in our room and even out in the dayroom. I sort of feel like I’m in high school only with meaner women. But I am handling all of this pretty well. I am okay but things are a little uncomfortable.

The lesson I read last night made so much sense and it really hit home. It was in mailing #3 on page one where it said, “Train consistently to deal with difficult situations.” That’s exactly what I feel this is. It’s a good experience for me. I was pretty comfortable and this has turned things up!

I am so thankful to have the Dharma to get me through these experiences. I told my roommate this is a good test run for both of us because I will be leaving soon. I need to get ready for a new situation and new people… So this is a needed experience.